Recognizing and Reclaiming

It’s been a while!

The last time I addressed all of you lovely folks I was just getting ready for my New Year of 2015. As strange as it sounds, my life really has changed since I wrote that last post. Today I’m going to address two different concepts that have started to reshape how I view my day-to-day activities.

Recognizing and Reclaiming are two of the first steps that I have found in my journey to start taking back my life.

 

Recognizing

I spent the bulk of 2014 living in fear, shame, and disgust with myself. Instead of treating myself with kindness I constantly berated, cruelly mocked, and deliberately sabotaged many incredible opportunities that could have helped me and my career.

Throughout the year I continued through this downward spiral with the excuse of “You deserve this. This is what you get for acting like an idiot in 2013” until I hit a moment of clarity on New Years Eve.

I’ll start off with this statement about that night. It was by far, the best, and worst New Years Party that I have ever been to. I made incredible new friends who are still a part of my day-to-day life but I also made some of the worst decisions of my life. These choices sent me into a depression so deep that I didn’t see any possible way of ever recovering. I even seriously considered leaving everyone and everything that I love so dear in the Twin Cities to return to Kansas where I had my family and friends, but no musical connections. I was so upset with myself that I convinced myself that I honestly did not deserve to experience the amazing opportunities that I had built up over the past year.

To say that night got dark would be a gross understatement. It got so bad that I had to heavily rely on the love and faith of my friends and family over the next week to start feeling some sort of inkling that I DID deserve this beautiful life and everything that comes with it.

After that harrowing experience I started recognizing the horrors that I had inflicted on myself over 2014. I had just spent an entire year of truly hating myself, so much so that I prevented anyone else from being able to love me. I mean, if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? So what are you supposed to do when you realize that you spent an entire year of hating yourself for choices that you made the year before? When does the cycle end and your life start to begin again? I made a conscious choice that I wanted my life was start NOW.

 

Reclaiming

In the following couple of weeks I took my experience from New Years Eve incredibly seriously and started reclaiming the girl that I used to be. First of all, I stopped drinking entirely.

The music industry is fueled by addiction. Every single celebrity (for the most part) have all been photographed at clubs, drinking and smoking copious amounts, and getting into all sorts of trouble due to intoxication. At shows if you are an artist you are offered free drink tickets. After shows fans want to hang out and buy you MORE drinks, or invite you out to come party with them. All in all, being sober in the music industry is the equivalent of trying to complete a standardized test without a number 2 pencil, nearly impossible.

However, I had a new motivation for staying clean. That motivation was my own physical, emotional, and mental health which were all thrown into peril after that fateful night. I learned that by drinking I would more frequently fall into that state of mind and the negative repercussions that occurred on New Years Eve would not only happen more often, but would accelerate at an alarming pace.

Now I love to drink as much as the next person. I’m in my early 20s and I’m surrounded by musicians, culture, and life. But after learning those new details, I haven’t wanted to drink AT ALL.

To this day it has been a whopping 37 days that I have remained sober!

Staying clean was the first step in reclaiming the girl I used to be. The next step is one that is, unbelievably, even more difficult than the first! It’s about loving myself and giving myself permission to love again. 2014 was such a difficult year for me in that category. Since I moved up here in 2010 there’s always been some sort of love interest every couple of months to keep me intrigued. However, the year of 2014 I wasn’t with a single person. I didn’t allow myself to be with anyone as punishment for my previous behavior and horrific cycles of unrequited love that turned me into Psycho-Natalie.

I’ve decided to break that cycle and once again allow myself to be interested again. The ironic aspect of all of this is that now that I have my music and career to focus on, I actually do not have the time to be in a relationship. That last statement was somewhat a lie, but the fact of the matter is that even if I MADE time for a relationship, I should be focusing that energy on perfecting my craft.

It’s an incredibly lonely road to be on and some days (like last night) I feel so overwhelmed by my lack of intimate human contact that I want to crumble into the floor and sob for hours. These pangs of loneliness are just as difficult to stomach and pull myself out of as depression slumps.

The only thing that I can do in these situations is remember the remaining love that I still receive on a daily basis from my family, my friends, my peers, and everyone who supports me and my musical journey.

 

Bottom Line

Recognizing and Reclaiming are two of the most difficult decisions a human can make. It feels nearly impossible to recognize those moments when you’ve made poor decisions and even more horrific when you realize that you consciously made these moments more unbearable by not treating yourself with love or respect. That being said. Once you do start to make those choices to turn your life around and love those aspects that you previously hated, they lose some of their power.

Reclaiming is a constant effort that will never cease.  It’s about accepting that yes, you were an idiot, and yes, you could have made better decisions, but that you’re going to take those experiences to better yourself and your life. I’ve found that reclaiming is one of the most powerful tools that you can use and by doing so you can turn the most devastating moments into moments that will shape how you live your life!

 

I hope this discussion has helped shed some light on the importance of loving and treating yourself with the utmost of respect. Here’s to a beautiful new week and the chance for all of us to start over again!

 

Love,

NatanYael

Resolutions and Reflection

Hello NatanYalites!

Tis the season for resolutions and reflections! A time where we swear off our foibles of the past and press onward and upwards in the hope of making the upcoming year our best one yet! I’m sure most of you have read countless statuses, texts, blogs, and various other mediums filled TO THE TEE with exactly these topics, in almost nauseating amounts.

With that being said, here’s my take on this timeless end-of-the-year tradition that sweeps the globe during December.

 

Reflection

For some, this can be an almost painful subject to approach. One of the horrifying aspects I’ve learned about growing up is that there is less and less time in every day and each year seems to somehow go faster than the last. This aspect is greeted with joy and excitement growing up. You can’t wait to grow up so that adults take you seriously, you can’t wait to finish up school, and most of all, you can’t wait until the day where you are in charge of your life and can finally start really doing what you want!

Now that I have hit all of the traditional road marks including, making it through K-12 and graduating college, moving out on my own, getting a cat, finding jobs that fulfill me without driving me completely insane, and of course, starting to FINALLY pursuing my dreams of being a singer I now must ask myself: what am I really doing with these years to grow? There’s no more traditional life events to carry out (at least until marriage and children but that’s a LONG way off!).

Once those life events pass it starts to become evidently clearer that since the years don’t start to slow down that you have even less time to really change, throw yourself into life-altering activities, and start to actually grow up. I know many (myself included) who have found themselves at the end of the year more depressed than ever. What had we REALLY accomplished over the year? Did all of that partying and wasting time really benefit us? And most importantly, if the year is a mark for how much we have changed in a 12 month span, then why do we feel, look, and act the same?

Life is one of those strange progressing experiments where you can let entire decades stream by without actually having changed. You can get comfortable and then 5 years down the road look back at those years and start questioning all of the decisions you made that you comfortable.

In my opinion, once you start getting too comfortable and find a routine that isn’t challenging you to grow, then it’s time to change.

That all being said, my 2014 was, by far, my BEST YEAR YET! I have never learned so much about who I am as a person and never realized just how resilient I could be.

This time last year I was fucking miserable. That’s not an understatement, I had just hit the LOWEST OF THE LOW and questioned absolutely everything that I mentioned above. I was partying WAY too much, not pursuing my music, blaming everyone but myself for my fucked up decisions, working jobs that stressed me out beyond belief, lived in a place that was not conducive to my growth, and on top of that, was so unbelievably depressed that I didn’t even realize what I had done to my life and the woman I had always strived to be.

Thats when I changed absolutely everything. I dived headfirst into my music, found jobs that better suited me, moved out on my own, got a cat, started budgeting and taking control of my finances, started actually taking responsibility, took my depression seriously and sought professional help for issues that I could not solve on my own, and most of all, I started being happy again.

As someone who realized only recently that she’s been dealing with depression for the bulk of her time, having long spans of happiness is not something that I’m completely familiar with. There has always been some type of aspect in my life that is causing me so much stress and/or distraught that I can’t even think clearly. To finally be living a life that can only go up from here is the most amazing gift that I have ever granted myself.

 

Resolutions

So what am I going to do to help that upward progression? I have a couple of ideas that I am going to attempt to implement into my day to day life. These resolutions (I hope) will help me grow even further for 2015. Here are a few of them in their respective category:

Personal

1. Workout Every Damn Day: This is one that I have steadily been improving on but there’s always room for growth. When I start getting burnt out from this one routine start switching is up so that no matter what condition I am in, I am ALWAYS moving!

2. Eat Better: Living half a block away from two pizza places and a grocery store has caused a rather large strain on my nutrition. I would like to have a day each week where I grocery shop and stick to those meals for the week. I know that I’m not perfect so I’ll still give myself chances to indulge here and there. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being BETTER.

3. Stick To A Healthy Routine: Getting enough rest, exercising daily, eating better, not taking on too much that I can’t handle. These are all examples of aspects that all fit into sticking to a healthier routine.

4. Budget Every Day: Money is kind of a bitch for me so I want to get better at restraining myself when it comes to using my tips, saving up for gear and/or other stuff for my career, and spending carelessly.

Work Balance

1. Working 35-50 Hours Per Week: If I go over OR under than I’ll either stress myself out way too much, or not have enough work to support my music.

2. Avoiding Apathy: Jobs in the past have always taken a turn for a worse when I stop caring. I want to find a better way to really keep up my endurance and enthusiasm so that I can improving instead of just stagnating.

Music Career

1. Dive In: I made AMAZING strides in 2014 but now it’s time to take it to that next level. For me this means spending AT LEAST 1-2 hours on social media and an additional 1-2 hours per day practicing to keep up my pages and technical skills.

2. Learn, Learn, LEARN: I am DETERMINED to start learning how to use all of the gear that I have always admired. This is going to take a RIDICULOUS amount of time and patience but it’s the next step in my musical evolution so I need to stick to it!

3. Be More Active: It would be incredible if I was able to work out my budgeting and free time in a way that would allow me to go to more shows every week. By the end of 2015 I want to be attending between 3-5 shows per week.

 

Bottom Line

I am giving myself a lengthy laundry list of tasks but if I don’t set my sights high then I’m going to end next year in the same spot that I’m in now. I have ridiculously high standards for myself and I’m excited to get my ass handed to me in the process. By doing that I’ll be kicking myself out of my comfort zone and really making some serious growth!

 

What are some personal goals and resolutions that YOU are attempting to implement this upcoming year and why? If there are topics you would like me to cover feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments below!

 

Love,

NatanYael

 

Shabbat and Protecting Your Image

Wow!

It’s been a while since I’ve really sat down to talk with y’all. My last blog post was a whopping TWO MONTHS AGO! In these last two months my life has taken a turn for the weird. Like anyone’s journey I have faced the tumultuous downs and elevated highs of a younger twenty-something. I have performed incredible shows that prove to me that no matter how difficult this road it, it is 100% worth it! I have also hit unfathomable lows that have made me almost consider giving up my Minnesota life and trying things anew in Kansas.

In light of those complete polar opposites, I have two topics I would like to focus on today: Shabbat, and Protecting your image.

Similar to my highs and lows, Shabbat, and Protecting your Image come once again as complete polar opposites, not only in perspective, but in of fields completely different plains. How in the earth can these two have anything to do with each other?

 

Shabbat

Shabbat for me has always been a semi-sacred day. Growing up it was a gift at the end of a long week. During my elementary days I ALWAYS loved going to school! My friends were there, I would be myself without judgement, and I got to test out killer style choices~ Junior High was a completely different ball game where none of my friends were there, I didn’t feel like I ever fit in, and my style morphed into something an introverted manga-girl who doesn’t see the light of day. High School was a MECA of acceptance but came at the price of so much homework and crammed schedules that I couldn’t enjoy the weekend anymore.

Going back to those elementary days when Friday was still beautiful, pure, and full of adventures waiting to unfold with the promise of Saturday morning cartoons, I had a tradition. After school my mother would pick me up and we would either grocery shop for dinner or head home in order to make our family meal. I would help her with either cooking, cleaning, or yelling at my brothers to get the HELL out of our way. At the dinner table we would sing our traditional grace (and the non-traditional one that always made us giggle) and go around and say what we were thankful for. We would then light the Shabbat candles and bask in the beautiful light that cleared the way for a new and exciting week.

Once the plates of spaghetti and meatballs were cleared away my mother and I would then try on a multitude of different outfits, looking for that PERFECT one to head to synagogue in. I usually picked out something sparkly that aimed to wow while my mother would seek out beautiful fabrics, rich velvets, and many a shawls and graceful earrings to complete her ensemble.

After (much arguing about having to go to services) we would drag my begrudging siblings (and occasionally my moody self) to services, which in the Jewish tradition, always started a few minutes behind schedule. I would sing to my hearts content all of the beautiful prayers and hymns that I still know like the back of my hand. Once services concluded the other kids of the synagogue would race around the building like bats out of hell, stealing all of the candies and other goodies we could sneak out of the reception. Parents would pluck out children by groups as families started vacating the premises and my brothers and I started our ritual chant, “MOOOOMMMM! LET’S GOOOO!!!! Everyone else is gone! I’m BOOOOREEEDDD!!”

Once the exhaustion (and annoyance) settled into my parents we would scramble back into the car and head to our second tradition: Folk Dancing.

My father has been an avid folk dancer since he was 17 and has enjoyed traditional folk dances from all over the world. We would join his and my mothers friends to participate in whatever the style was for this week. While I shyly sat in the corner and overlooked the dancing I was always taken aback by their presence and perfect precision to the songs.

The next morning I would wake up (usually around 7) to crowd around our families 6″ black and white television screen to horde all of the cartoons we possible could take in. On special Saturdays, my father and I would sit down at the table and circle all of the interesting looking garage sales and track out our plan. At these garage sales I found everything from ceramic frogs, to random decorations that hang in my new adult apartment, to even my first guitar.

So what do I do to celebrate my more modern traditions? Not much as of late. The whole month of September (and the bulk of October) I worked Friday nights until well after midnight. Other Fridays since then have been delegated to going out to shows, staying in with the comfort of my Netflix, or working. I no longer make today sacred, which I find a real and complete shame. In order to change that, today I decided to have a rest day. I slept in, enjoyed time with my kitten, and after work I’ll go out with a friend who I haven’t seen in a long time.

I’m learning how to make Shabbat sacred once more. I may not be perfect at it, but I’m learning to rest once again.

 

Protecting Your Image

In the music industry your image is absolutely EVERYTHING. Much to the dismay of millions of musicians who wish the industry to be entirely about music, instead of what image to sell it through. This is an incredibly important issue as its stance has drastically changed since money was poured through the industry in the mid 70s. Many today see it as a vanity, pure and simple. So what do I believe?

I’m torn. On one hand I believe that music SHOULD be judged by its sound, composition, and point of view, rather than what the artist is wearing, why they are wearing it, and what their fashion reflects on current trends. On the other hand, I have brought up in a world where image is everything and by ignoring that aspect, you are cutting yourself short to succeed.

Instead I try for an equal balance. I strive to make my songs complicated, diverse, and speaking to many issues that personally fulfill me. I also present an image not crafted by trends in the hope of catching on, but inspired by my inner 4-year-old and what she would have wanted to perform on stage in.

Protecting your image also goes hand and hand with how you present yourself, in, and out of business.

I recently heard a former colleague go on a long filled rant that can be summed up to: You shouldn’t judge me for how I act when I’m not pursuing business, the partying side of me, and my business side are two COMPLETELY different entities!

I was taken aback by this comment because I completely disagree. So much of today’s music industry is centered on how you conduct yourself. You can be the most brilliant business entity to have taken over the industry, but if you then turn around present a sloppy party girl/boy side when you’re off the clock, you’re selling yourself short. Instead of focusing on all of the amazing progress you have made, others will simply judge you on how you conducted yourself out in public.

Being a savvy artist today means learning how to find your balance. For me it means going to as many shows as I can, networking my ass off, making business decisions without second guessing, and always presenting a professional front. I get sloppy like everyone else, but I work as hard as I can to not let that side show, especially when my career is on the line.

 

Bottom Line

Making sure that I don’t get sloppy comes full circle around when trying to plan in a day of rest, aka Shabbat.

It all comes down to taking care of yourself. If you’re organizing your schedule in a way that prevents you from eating right, getting enough sleep, exercising, working enough to pay your bills, and acting in activities that make you personally fulfilled, than you’re not going to be able to perform your best.

When you can’t perform your best then your business senses aren’t fully alert, and you miss out on opportunities.

The music industry is grueling to say the least, but by first focusing energy on your basic needs, which branch out to every other aspect of your career, you can learn to keep yourself from being overwhelmed.

 

I hope this post was helpful to all of my fellow artists and musicians. If you have a topic you would like me to discuss in next weeks post, please make sure to leave your suggestions in the comments below!

 

Love,

NatanYael

Concert Window Series

Greeting NatanYalites!

It seems that balance is finally finding its way back into my life! Over the past week I have been able to accomplish nearly all of the items on my to-do list. The three jobs that have been pulling me in every direction have settled into a steady rhythm that I am quickly learning how to adapt to. I’m feeling stronger and more in control than I have all year which is an UNBELIEVABLE blessing!

With Fall rapidly approaching it’s time to starting setting up my game plan for the rest of the year and the start of next. It seems wild that although it’s only October, it already feels like January to me. That’s how quickly I anticipate the rest of the year to follow suit. This is both an incredibly intimidating feat, but also an opportunity to really make something out of myself.

I’ve decided to host a series of live web concerts through the website, Concert Window. This is an opportunity for many of my readers, followers, and listeners who have not been able to see me perform to watch me free of charge!

Many of my main supporters have either been to far away, financially unable, and/or too busy with hectic schedules to come out to my shows. Since I have received some amazing feedback and love over the past year I wanted to find a way to give back to the community who has given so much to me!

Starting Wednesday, October 8th I’ll be performing my first online solo concert!

Check out the link below:

https://www.concertwindow.com/shows/9567-natanyael

 

Gratitude List:

1) Mentors – Without your help I wouldn’t have been able to pull myself out from under my rut

2) Aragorn – With the weather getting colder it’s nice to have something warm and fuzzy to keep me loved at night

3) Balance – Thank you for finally finding me again!

 

Love,

NatanYael

A New Approach

Happy Friday One and All!

As many of you are preparing for a relaxing (or jam-packed) weekend and enjoying the end of your hectic work week, I am right in the midst of mine! Between this Thursday and Sunday I will work a whopping 43 hours before finally setting into my new weekend (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday). This weekend, although unbearably hectic, is the last one of its kind for the time being! Starting next week I’ll only be working between 25-30 hours between Thursday and Sunday.

This last month has not only taught me how to better manage my time (since there is such little free time anymore) but showed me exactly what I’m made of. After starting my new job I have been working harder and faster than I ever have at any point in my life. For the most part over the past 4 years I’ve held jobs where I just have to sit or stand around for hours. This is the first time where all three of my jobs force me to be on my feet constantly for multiple hours without breaks. I have been building up my endurance and stamina and also working out SO MUCH MORE! I’ve found that if I don’t work out on a daily basis and eat balanced meals I physically cannot function in the ways that I need to.

So much is on the line over this next year that it puts an enormous amount of pressure on me. However, as many of my workouts have proven to me, pressure and stress is just another activity that forced you to rise to the occasion. If you would have told me a year ago what I would be doing this year I would have run the other direction screaming at the top of my lungs!

I have been working my tail off, not only to pay the small mountain of bills that greets me with a snarky smirk each month, but to further my career which I now have to be much more creative about!

These activities have forced me to think out of the box when it comes to looking and creating new opportunities for my career, finding ways to balance my schedule without losing my sanity, and live the life that I have always dreamed of.

Am I doing it perfectly? HELLS NO! Am I trying my best? Most days!

What I’m trying to say is that I’m working on documenting the good and bad of my days and then figuring out how to minimize the negatives and strengthen the positives for the future. Take today for example: it’s a quiet morning so I COULD HAVE slept in, watched Netflix, neglected my exercise, and hung out with my kitten. Instead I got up at a reasonable time, practiced, worked out, played with the kitten some, ate a good lunch, and am now forcing myself to sit down and figure out my game plan for the next week!

I even got a daily planner so I can better organize! How’s that for adulting?

So what can y’all expect from me as we propel into October?

• Many new gigs (and different ways to connect with me via the interwebs)
• New photoshoots and a different approach to my image than you have seen before
• BRAN’ SPANKIN’ NEW covers and videos, which I am INCREDIBLY excited about
• More dad puns? Still working on that one, but I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to make myself awkward and put forward my best dad jokes for your listening pleasure~

 

Gratitude List:

1) Mentors – HOLY CRABCAKES! Where the hell would I be without the constant help of my family and friends who constantly reaffirm what I need to do and help me think outside the box!

2) Caffeine – Sweet Jeebus am I thankful for this one! Although I’m attempting to get good amounts of sleep, for those days when it just doesn’t happen I have my best friend caffeine to pick me up~

3) My friends – even with my crazy-as-duck schedule y’all are still reaching out to me and finding ways to hang out out despite my three days weekly window where I can do ANYTHING

 

I can’t wait to show y’all this new side of NatanYael! I’m working my tail off so that I can present a new united front to all of your lovelies out there~

Love Y’all!

NatanYael

Adulting 101

Hello NatanYalites!

Many of you have followed my journey over the past couple of months and watched my transformation from ignorant starting artist, to complete train wreck, to semi responsible adult. It has been a wild roller coaster of a ride and now that I look back on where I was one year ago I am completely astounded!

A year ago I was in what I like to call, my irresponsible burnout phase. After 8 consecutive semesters of school I had been living the life of a graduate for around 5 months. Completely exhausted and utterly over trying I spend that time partying, not doing my work, and having one hell of a time.

However, no matter how good of a time I made for myself I still had to come home at the end of the day and wonder why I felt so unbelievably empty inside. There was no reasoning for it in my mind.  I had gotten into the school of my dreams, made it through 2-1/2 years of pushing through obstacles and was now living the life of the reckless 21-year-old that I had always dreamed of. Whenever I started feeling depressed about my life choices I reasoned it with the manta, I am 21 years old! I deserve to be an idiot for a while after all of that hard work!! So I continued my decent.

Last December, as many of you remember, was when the shit hit the fan. I found myself dealing the consequences of my year of partying and had to come to the hard truth.

That I was INCREDIBLY depressed and unhappy with my life.

Why was this? I was living the “dream” as I thought in my mind and I had fantastic friends to support my addictions and poor life decisions. I finally came the conclusion why I was so miserable:

I had forgotten my voice.

Over the next nine months I committed myself back to my music, my health, and my heart. And let me tell you this: Although I have put on the illusion that everything has been wonderful and only going uphill from here, these last nine months have honestly been the toughest in my life.

I have never had to make such life changing choices, put myself at such risk on a daily basis, and made myself get out of my comfort zone each day like I do now.

One year ago I had a job that made me miserable, health that left my devastated, and habits that would only lead to financial ruin, depression, and anxiety.

I now sit in control of my domain. I have my own apartment, work three jobs to keep myself going, work my ass off on a daily basis to promote shows and write new songs, and work on healing myself.

I’m not going to say that everyday is a success because there have definitely been the days where I truly hate myself again. However, I can say that my bad days are 10x better than my “good” days of last year.

So where do I go from here? Forward and upwards with any help! I’m not scared of the fears that plagued me last year and I refuse to let anyone or anything take advantage of me again. I feel stronger than I ever have before and even the less successful days are blessings in disguise.

 

Gratitude List:

1) Shows: keeping me on my feet and making me more productive everyday

2) Support: it keeps presenting itself in different avenue each day and I am constantly grateful for it!

3) Love: for myself, my kitten, my friends, my family, and my music

 

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Love,

NatanYael

 

Business Savvvvvvvvvy

Greeting NatanYalites!

I have returned to my regular Saturday slot and I am so thrilled to see all of your lovely faces! Much of my life has shifted into a much more adult-like format over the past two weeks. For me, this has been a welcomed change, but also a very tricky balancing act.

I have always excelled when given a structured schedule to follow. It’s not that I cannot function when life turns willy-nilly, it’s just that I have a much more difficult time being productive if I don’t have a list of goals to accomplish throughout my day. Since acquiring my latest job I am now working between 45-60 hours a week from my three combined jobs. This is where the balancing act begins. I now have to figure out how to balance those jobs, promotions, social media, practicing, and other music career related tasks, eating and exercising right, having a social life, and spending time with my new kitten who needs GOBS of constant love and attention.

Let’s just saw that some weeks have turned out better than others! One of the benefits I have found of having to balance everything is the fact that now I have to compartmentalize and stay to a structured schedule. The few moments that I have at home are now dedicated to eating, social media-ing, kittening, and practicing. This has seriously cut down on my Netflix time which is honestly a good thing because I was wasted a LOT of time!

I just got off the phone with one of my musical mentors to discuss how to take the next step in my career. Now that I am self managing I have to constantly wear my business lady hat and make sure that every move that I make is benefiting my career. Long gone are the days of throwing shit to the wind and hoping that something will catch without putting in much effort. I am about to make some very big steps and changes to career which, although hesitant, I am ready and willing to take!

One of them is filling my plate up with different projects to keep me busy while I am gigging as a Solo Artist. Some of these projects you will see first hand by the end of the month, and others, you’ll just have to stick around to see what unfolds~

It’s very difficult to becoming unbelievably overwhelmed with it all and I have definitely had moments over the past couple of weeks where I have felt utterly useless and helpless. The important lesson I have learned from all of this is that no matter what life throws at you, you just have to accept what you cannot change and work your ass off to make a difference where you can.

Everything is one step and a time and I am so thrilled to know that I am finally on the right path and now that I am, absolutely NOTHING can stop me unless I let it.

Here’s the next couple of months and the AMAZING journey I am about to embark on!

To my fellow artists, what is the most difficult aspect of balancing your busy lives? Comment with your thoughts below or some say hi at Honey in Minneapolis this Tuesday at 9:15. I’ll be performing alongside Gaby Castro, another incredible singer-songwriter!

 

Gratitude List

1) Music Mentors – If it weren’t for all of you supporting me and helping me through those absolutely devastating times I don’t think I would be in as good of shape that I am in!

2) Busy Schedules – Keeping me on my toes and making sure I stop wasting my extra moments~

3) Aragorn (my kitten) – My little bundle of joy who shows me what this beautiful world can offer

 

Love,

NatanYael

September Shows GALORE!

Good Evening Everybody!

For the longest time I watched my friends and peers in utter AWE as I saw them piece together their musical lives. For me, lining up a number of gigs seemed not only impossible, but unrealistic in my current stage of life. I had no songs to perform, TERRIBLE, CRIPPLING stage freight, and not enough confidence needed to keep a crowd listening to me for any more than they were physically required to. Through all of my teenage years I watched in envy as my friends got amazing musical parts in plays, incredible shows that helped them make a name for themselves on the scene, and solos during school performances that I would have given my right arm for.

Well now it’s MY time to shine!

As cheesy as that over-used cliche is above, the statement still rings true. I have been waiting for the day where I set up NOT ONLY an individual solo show, but a number of shows that incorporate everything that I love about the music industry. This month I have been given the UNBELIEVABLE gift of being able to perform at Honey nightclub in Minneapolis for not only one show, but three!

I will be performing many of my solo songs including my debut single, Snow, which you can listen to below:

I am also delighted (and a little terrified!) to start debuting some BRAND NEW MATERIAL along with new originals AND new covers!

But the BEST part of this show is that I get to share it with all of my friends! I’ll be performing with a TON of my favorite local Twin Cities songwriters who are also my very close friends~ Make sure to give them some love before coming out to see us in September!

Here are my upcoming show dates:

 

September 9th — 9:15-11:00pm

Special Guest – Gaby Castro

https://www.facebook.com/gabycastromusic

 

September 14th — 8:30-11:00pm

Special Guests – The Floating Perspectives

https://www.facebook.com/thefloatingperspectives

 

September 22nd — 7:00-11:00pm

Special Guest:

Laura Johnson

https://www.facebook.com/justcallmehugomusic

Cappie

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cappie/1494565530789477

Rachel Kline

https://www.facebook.com/rachelklinemusic

Can’t wait to see all of you lovelies there!!

 

Have a wonderful night all of your NatanYalites!~

 

Love,

NatanYael

The Start of Something New~

How’s it shaking NatanYalites?

It’s been a wild summer to say the least! I cannot really describe how much I have changed and grown over the past couple of months. All I can say is that this next year is going to truly help me become the performer that I’ve always dreamed of!

To start off, I’ve made some MAJOR changes in my life over the past couple of months.

 

WEBSITE:

I now have a NEW SPANKIN’ WEBSITE! You can check it out below:

http://www.NatanYaelMusic.com

 

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW:

Next, I was featured in the HUMAN issue of Shock Value Magazine.

The “HUMAN” issue is dedicated to showcasing and featuring LGBTQ talent and issues from around the globe. Inspirational stories from theTransgender and Intersex community. Beautiful Fashion Editorial spreads featuring Drag Queens, Gender Bender, and Transsexual models. LGBT HIstory Facts, LGBT Music Artists, and so much more!!! Check it out below!!!

http://www.shockvaluemagazine.com/

You can read the full article starting on page 86:

 

EVERYTHING ELSE:

I moved into my VERY OWN place over a month ago! Here are some pictures of my absolutely wonderful new apartment~

It’s truly a magical place where I feel free to live the life I’ve always craved! To make things even BETTER, I adopting a little kitty critter to help attack bugs and stray creaking noises in the night~

There’s been a whole heap of drama and major life issues that I have had to deal with since June so it’s an absolute blessing to finally have some calm in my world.

I visited Israel in July which was one of the most amazing journeys I’ve experienced in a long time! After going break-less since the New Year it was a much needed vacation. Being is Israel really made me rethink my priorities and how I view my so-called problems. Living for 10 days in a country where my Israel peers were losing friends to the war on a daily basis changed something deep in my core. It’s made me want to work harder for my dream, and not beat myself up so harshly for every false step.

Hope y’all are having an absolutely fantastic weekend, I know that I sure am!!

 

Gratitude List:

1) Israel – for perspective, love, and a whole new understanding of my Jewish heritage

2) My Friends – I would not be here if I didn’t have all of your support, y’all inspire me on a daily basis and I love all of you DEARLY!!

3) My Apartment – Living with myself has never been so wonderful!

 

Love,

NatanYael

 

 

There Goes May!

Well that went RIDICULOUSLY quick!!

I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who noticed that this year has not only been racing, but FLYING by! It seems like only yesterday that I was sitting in my bedroom in Kansas writing songs about messing up and wondering what my life would become.

Sometimes it’s the worst of situations that force you to re-evaluate your life and push you to turn everything around. Once you get a game plan the most important aspect is maintaining your progress. I am WONDERFUL at starting new projects, but not so much at the latter. When I was younger I started so many different projects (Dance class, Piano, Flute, and Guitar Lessons, etc) and ended up quitting each one because of the “inconvenience” effect it had on my free time. I cannot tell you just how much I regret giving up those opportunities because of a temporarily out of commission imposition.

That’s why I am more determined THAN EVER to keep on track, put in the hard work, and make my dreams come true. So what to do when that snarly voice sneaks up during the middle of my day? That voice that screams ‘I’M SO TIRED! I’M JUST NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING TODAY!!’ and nearly bullies the rest of my mind to go along? Lately I’ve been cycling a mantra through those difficult situation that goes: ‘This is MY choice, MY dream, and if I don’t do it, then no one else will!’ It may seem rather harsh, but when you’re constantly battling an inner 4-year-old, you have to lay down some serious ground rules!

With that being said, this week, although containing some lows, did prove to be one of my most exciting and exhilarating yet! On Tuesday I saw, for the first time, my idol, Lady Gaga. This was not only an incredibly emotional experience but also an amazing learning opportunity! Watching Gaga, a fellow 5’1″ brunette with a massive electronic obsession KILLING it onstage without a sign of exhaustion inspired me. She used to be just as scared and insecure as I have felt and yet, she pushed through her stage freight and told the world ‘You know what? I’m going to do whatever the HELL I want on stage!’ From that she created one of the most innovative and create shows I have ever had the pleasure to witness! HANDS DOWN, it was the best concert I’ve ever attended~ I even made my way to the front by the end for a better view. Lady Gaga and I made eye contact a couple of times and I completed melted in awe. Long story-short: That woman is AMAZING and I’m even more in love with her now!

On Wednesday I received my 10th tattoo, the full map of Middle Earth on my thigh. This was the most painful, lengthy, and expensive tattoo that I’ve ever got. Was it worth the 3+ hours of pain and intricate detailing? HELLS TO THE YES! I have NEVER been this in love with a tattoo before! I decided on the map as a reminder of two very important lessons I learned from the trilogy:

1. If Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship could completed the MOST EPIC JOURNEY of all time, then the stars the limit for my dreams!

2. Even the most epic of journeys only takes place from The Shire (top left of my thigh) to Mordor (bottom right corner). Be humble and keep matters in perspective.

I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to this weekend! My parents and little brother are coming into town this morning and with their help, hopefully I’ll have a new apartment to live in by the end of the weekend! I am also acting a spokesmodel for Mr. Misunderstood at Soundset on Sunday.

There are so many bright and shiny opportunities waiting for my. All I have to do it reach out and take what is mine!

 

Gratitude List:

1. Reality Checks – We all fall of the wagon and we all need a little push from time to time. Better to learn your lessons while you can still change the outcome!

2. My Family – having my back since 1992 🙂

3. May – It’s been a wonderful month and I am THRILLED that everything is finally in full bloom, ready for the WILDEST summer on record!

 

Keep it Classy NatanYalites!

Love,

Natalie